Of winter Clothes and Culture

There are maybe 10 million Filipinos across the globe that the diaspora of culture has become so palpable. It's not an anomaly but rather the trend.  

Last week I met up with these Italian guys the because they're friends with a friend. And while making small talk with this guy he said that there's a lot of Filipina working in his country. And so I ask what jobs are they  doing in your country, then he said they are cleaners and stuff. Oh you mean like maids? He said yes. I know that was a rhetorical question and I was expecting more from him but maybe he has already that long held stereotypes that I don't blame him.   I never look down at our OFWs in fact my father has been one. I am  actually quite proud of them but I can't help feel sad that still most foreigners would always associate Filipinas with the lowly profession of being maids or the like.Why  don't they know or remember  the  successful Filipina abroad such as Josie Natorri or Maybe Monique lhuillier or the latest most beautiful woman of the world, the universe rather - Ms universe, Pia Alonzo Wurchbach.  At one point in my life I have dreamed of just getting odd jobs abroad and have the freedom to travel anytime I want. I could be that cleaner or that maid.  I heard this guy wanted to date Filipinas as well since a lot of his friends married Filipino women and maybe they are still together. I remember telling someone how I wanted to go to Italy and maybe pursue a career in Fashion and he told me it's quite impossible for me to do that and that I have better chances in doing it in China. You can come here and maybe work but don't expect a corporate job and stuff he said.  I told him but I have a university degree. Maybe he's right maybe he's wrong. Maybe he's just thinking about the language barrier and all but of course there is still a learning curve. Well, I've been wanting to live abroad because I wanted to wear all the Winter clothes I want - my shallow self subconsciously and maybe at one point while we were kids  we were dreaming to have blue eye and white skin. I may have accepted and even wanted to have darker skin now but  at one point I've done all the gluta skin treatment ( except the injectibles maybe) 400 plus years of western domination has that effect on you.  I guess it's true what my ex said that we wanted what we don't have or we couldn't have.( yes for the past 2 years I've been on interracial dating) He even said that most Asians look the same to him. And he ask me if I have the same perceptions for white men. So I told him, you look different to me. (So different I guess that were no longer together lol!)  

So  this other guy  I'm talking to just asked me why I am interested in foreigners. I know and I'm not one to deny it and I answered it's a diaspora of some sort. I haven't really described it in details but what I meant is I would love to travel soon and maybe live in another country. Because now more than ever, it's like we are living in a border less world, where halfway across the universe is a 12 hour plane ride. It's when you travel and live in another country you would challenge yourself, to be independent and to experience other cultures and discover yourself and other people. 

It's true that there are about 2.5 million OFW now and their  contribution to the country cannot be discounted and the sacrifices they have to endure to provide for their families back home. 

They are your nurses in the US, your engineers in the Middle East, they are the people manning the commercial ships,  even your  Musical performers in London's opera scene. 

There are those who disapprove leaving ( like my brother  who was schooled in a State U like me) we Filipinos have a distinct nationalism and pride. Knowing how this country perpetually fought for freedom against the Spanish, Japanese and Americans it's an insult to the heroes who fought for such freedom.  

But maybe not anymore. A border less world has presented  lots of opportunities especially for young minds whose passion is traveling and learning all they can from other cultures while not forgetting their own.  It's about not forgetting about who essentially you are. I maybe entertaining the thought of interracial marriage one day if that's in the card but I would still let my child learn about my culture and language and make him or her go back to a part of her roots thereby creating a culture of their own. And  so no individual can truly claim ownership from where he is. Even us do have Chinese blood or Spanish blood in us. But we are still Filipinos. 

Danny targarean travelled across the other side of the 7 Kingdoms becoming the mother of the dragon, Queen of the dothrakis even going back to her enemy's lair to another land but she's coming back to  the Westeros  to claim her birthright richer and more powerful.  ( sorry my latent obsession with Game of Thrones )

So this Italian guy maybe interested in me  (he visited me at work the next day) but he just lose the chance  of really getting to know me because of that convo. ( it will take a lot of his redeeming qualities for me to agree to go out with him lol! Choosy pa ba?) .Maybe I have my own  held prejudiced.. But I would probably keep

It to myself. I mean I met a lot of foreigner friends  who would rather get to know me and not bring up issues such as the plight of Filipinas abroad on first meeting.  I know I was sensitive that way, but I guess to be a citizen of the world I would be more open and just take every thing with a grain of salt... I'm learning! 

Be Here Now

These past months have been plagued by changes career wise and other wise. The opening of our Gen 3 store brought about new role and new responsibility. All

my days were spent on trainings and simulations geared toward the new store.(Me and my workmates would sometimes joke and call it "stimulations")  Despite that, there's still a part of me thats resisting  this change (for lack of a better word). Life is always a series of transition they say and I guess this is another transition for me. My weekend and offs are spent on the beach because I just felt I needed a distraction and a breather. We all have  different ways of coping and for me my travels no matter how near or far provides the kind of respite that I need. And the fact that I acknowledge my resistance and my resolve to just take it one day at a time is a step at acceptance and change. Life, you are forever throwing curveballs! We do need to practice how to catch or hit!. We may avoid it from time to time but we should never backdown and run away. My note to self : Be here now, and face the music...Where is my Marshall speaker? 😉

Reposted from Buzzfeed

Subject: Fwd: Dude A Day: You've Been Warned

Don't be fooled by their good looks and charm. Here's why f*ckboys are actually the worst.   via BuzzFeed Video Editor's note: In our noble quest to better educate you about the ceaselessly sexy and complex world of hot men, we'd like to take this day to talk about fuckboy circumvention. Joining us is BuzzFeed Quiz Editor and Resident Fuckboy Expert Alexis Nedd with a full breakdown of this fraught phenomenon:   “A fuckboy is a man who feels entitled to a woman’s time without putting any emotional effort into earning it.” This is the concise definition of a fuckboy given by the mysterious bartender at The Bar — a humble stand-in for any and every conceivable bar. For our purposes, this Bar is where BuzzFeed’s “Can You Spot The Fuckboy” challenge takes place. Now, there are those who rail against the use of the word fuckboy. “You wouldn’t call a woman a slut,” they keen numbly into the endless scrolling white of their screens, “but somehow it’s OK to call a man a fuckboy?!” These people are misguided, and have a less-than-comprehensive grip on the English language. “Fuckboy" is no slur. It does not degrade its usually male subject in the way that countless words degrade women for their choices and behavior. No – “fuckboy” describes a set of behavior. A fuckboy only exists in relation to his actions towards other people. A fuckboy expects to get everything — be it a person’s time, a sexual encounter, or a rapt audience for his platitudinous stories — for nothing, and is really fucking annoying until he gets it. Fuckboys are like pizza, in that you know them when you see them. Unlike pizza, fuckboys are terrible.  And so, I present the Top 5 Tips For Identifying And Evading Fuckboys In Your Everyday Life: Listen when he opens his mouth. Contrary to popular belief, a fuckboy cannot simply be spotted in the wild without actually hearing or reading what he has to say. If he interrupts you or tries to one-up other people’s stories (usually of a sexual theme), then he MAY be a fuckboy. Check him against the other signs to be sure. Tell him “no.” If he reacts poorly to you saying no about anything, be that buying you a drink, going outside to get some air, or even liking a television show about which he is particularly passionate, he is likely a fuckboy. Normal people understand that human beings have agency beyond what we might wish or expect. A fuckboy has no such insight. Check the time stamp on his texts. If he exclusively contacts you between the hours of 11pm and 3am, he is a fuckboy who only conceives of your existence as it conveniences him and his nighttime interests.  Like the Boltons of Winterfell press their flayed man-seal into hot pink wax, so too do fuckboys use graphic symbols to indicate their status. If a man texts you acronyms like “wyd,” urges you to continue with “haha and then what,” attempts to play “20 Questions” with you, or begins a conversation with the effective but hella rude “wanna fuck,” he is attempting to bypass the social process of knowing you as a person and get straight to the endgame of sex. If you are of a mind to bypass this as well, then by all means enjoy yourself. If you are not, then take a page from Lady Beyoncé’s book and tell him: “[fuck]boy, BYE!” Lastly: the non-zero constant. If you receive an unsolicited picture of his penis at any point in your correspondence, then he is a fuckboy. Regardless of his other behavior or appearance, anyone who sends you a picture of his penis without first confirming that you would like to see a picture of his penis is a fuckboy to the core. Delete him. Go to the other side of the game board. Do not pass “Go.” Do not collect $200. Run away and never come back.   Got all that? Good. Now it's time to really put your skills to the test: Can You Spot The Fuckboy? Yours in thirst, Alexis (@alexisthenedd) Can You Guess If This Is A Real Live Ass Or Someone’s Elbow? Get more stories on BuzzFeed BuzzFeed on Faceboo

Rummage

Heard this from someone's Mama - "Don't love something that can't love you back". ( Unless it's Dior or Armani) True enough we become attached  to  frivolous  things such as clothes, gadgets or whatever our obsessions are. Yesterday, I did my spring cleaning and sold clothes  and shoes I haven't worn in a while or worn once.   I actually feel less guilty about my clothes shopping habits because I've been a fan of pre loved items myself. I think it's a great help to the environment ( imagine the landfills these clothes have covered already). I had a garage sale at the sari sari store of my auntie. There are Moms bringing their kids to school or since its enrollment right now most of them come to school with their kids  and the store is right in front of this school so these moms make tambay at my aunties store. So they would always be my customer whenever I have this sale. I would sell it at a very cheap price ranging from 10- 25 pesos. And I promised to give my collection to church. And then I realized that my other Aunt is sick and needing financial assistance as well. So I thought of just giving it to her instead of donating it to charity. After all charity begins at home. Never have this saying felt so true than right now. 

Salvatore

I've passed by a really cute guy in Starbucks busy in his Mac book or at least pretending to be busy. And then a funny thought cross my mind. Is this guy on Tinder? I haven't been using the app for quite a while. And then I remember all the funny anecdotes me and my bestie had about this site. She was forever teasing me because the last  times we were together when we see a cute guy in a mall or out in a restaurant I would say, maybe he's  my tinder match. And then the last time I had this funny story where I was supposed to meet an Italian guy I was talking to a few days in Manila. I was in makati staying in the condo of my other best friend and he was in the area.  He's name is Stefano. While we were planning to meet up the next day, the night before I was out with my girlfriends and we were texting and he said he was  also out in a party in BGC. 

Then the next day me and tweety my best friend were invited to go to Clark. We are to ride a chopper from Manila to Clark. So I have to text my date that we have to schedule our meet up to a later time since I figured I'd be late in going back to Manila later that day. So I texted him that  lets meet each other later tonight. It took him a few minutes before he could reply and what he said was that : hey, Change of plans, I met someone at the party last night and I kind of like her and I'm at her place and I plan to spend the weekend with her, please don't hate me! And I said, it's cool. How could I hate him when I haven't even met him. Then when I related this  to my best friend  she asked me  the name of this guy. And me being forgetful just came up with the name Salvatore since I remembered he's Italian. We had a laugh when she joked that I never told her that I'm dating the shoe designer Ferragamo. So from then on every time we see an Italian looking guy in Makati she would tease me "oh maybe that's your Salvatore right there and both of us would giggle like silly.  When I told her, maybe the girl he met was pretty and loaded since she's got her own place and then she would comment something like, you never knew she must just be staying in a boarding house and call it her place. That's the thing about me and my best friend we would have the craziest talk and laugh about very shallow stuff. Or in this case she was trying to make me feel better. I didn't really feel bad about it though. I mean it's Tinder. Yes, you may have the advantage of meeting people without doing much effort. Like you wouldn't meet anyone that easily under normal circumstances. Although at least there are those who still meet someone at a party.  But in tinder you get to chose whose near you and those you like (on paper) and who likes you back. What happens next is really up to you. In my case with Salvatore/Stefano real meeting wins and that what a difference a day could make or in his case a night...I'm actually curious if he and this girl really hit it off but I have no way to find out. Maybe he has deleted Tinder.  I would be a creeper if I still would message him after. Lol! 

Tinder and many other sites have indeed revolutionize the way many people think. Even in our country who's generally conservative. We all look for the elusive thing called love. That paradox brings out the best and worst of humans and sex hovering in the middle of the spectrum as well. As they say, love spawn wars and love can bring joy. Sometimes it is lost and sometimes it is found. Thankfully there exist apps like this one. We humans do crazy things for a deeper connection. Along with the good there's also the unpretty side of this revolution. We don't commit, we always think that there are plenty of fishes in the ocean. And never before where the ocean is at the tips of our fingertips. We can order a human as easily as we can order a pizza at Zomato. We think intimacy is a good morning text from across the oceans from a different time zone. We think romance is dead because maybe it is. But maybe we just need to reinvent it. Quite possibly, romance is when we need to put down our phone and look into each others eyes when we are at dinner. It's when we delete Tinder after having an amazing date with someone. So how could I hate Salvatore when indeed he was practicing romance in its realness. Romance is still there we just don't know exactly how it looks now.

The list and life's Simulations

My favorite quote is by Seneca - "Luck is what happens when opportunity meets preparation" I was reminded by this years after due to the Facebook memory. I posted this quote a years ago and I'm not sure exactly what I was going through those times but this quote is once again relatable because it mirrors  my sentiments these past 2 months. I've ticked off one of my bucket list and that is to travel to Japan and see the Sakura. (This actually needs a post of its own #anotherday) . It was such a trip of a lifetime spent with my best friend. They say, "the best stories are found in the pages of the passport" and is truly what I have been validating. And then came the invitation for me to travel to Italy this May supposedly. The backstory - I have been talking to this guy from a dating site since late December up until January. And then we lost contact because I deactivated my account. And then I thought we have a connection so I decided to recreate an account and look for him again end of February and we've been talking practically everyday since. I've  already deactivated my account and he told me he did as well because I've been nudging him.

You know how it is to have a dating site. You get to talk to a lot of different guys who wanted different things oftentimes the common denominator would be hook ups or casual dating if you may and I am not naive about it.   So when a guy starts asking for nudes or ask to video skype before we even chat a little I would see that as a warning sign of a Player (Fuck Boi starter pack). I mean there's some people who likes that and maybe to each is own. However personally, I don't have the tolerance much more the time to be involve with these stuff . I mean it comes with the territory not to mention the day and the age....Well some have serious intentions but you still have to be cautious of those whose too good to be true. I have been managing my expectations  and I try also not to appear like a prude. So going back, I've chosen him because he was sensible enough to talk to  and he never asked for nude photos and never tried to send me dick pics or anything. I see that as a good sign and because we talked everyday I became to know him better. What he's like, what his  family like, his job, his schedules and you know what happens next if you talk to someone constantly and when they give you attention. You develop feelings for them right? I've also realized he's a little flawed with some baggage of he's own and that makes him legit.  I mean it's not like you're truly physically attracted to a person you've never met. But yes, I felt like I do care for him and that these feelings were real and it  was developed organically. So we talked about meeting up. No date or month yet, we just know we have that plan. And then right after my trip to Japan last month he asked me if I can go to Italy this May. It was too soon I know, and I have a training  for work that's looming in the background. But I still said yes. I know that getting a Schengen visa is labor intensive and not easy but I still loved the idea of me and him finally together. Even though I know that was the time he wanted me there because he knows he could host me since he was in between jobs. I mean he just resigned and he has a month to spare before he join this other company in June. I tried to check the schedule of the training and it was in the first to third week of May. That means I only have a week and a few days to spend in Italy. I mean I could not just abandon my work right? And so after much deliberation we decided that I'm not going this June. He couldn't also commit as to when we can schedule again because of his new job. Then came my training, the 2 and a half weeks was draining and demanding. There's a process training and then the behavioral part is another story. This training is for the Gen 3 store of my company. It's a digitizing lifestyle experience.  The pressure has taken its toll and I was stressed  with the daily immersion and simulation.  I've managed  it yet it I was kind of expecting his presence albeit virtually. I was expecting  he should at least be texting back when I texted him or he would call me when he's expected to call. But during these times he was a little unreliable. I know he's got concerns with his parents health and all that responsibilities but I notice the little changes in him. And then I have turned into quite demanding and may have pushed him further. I mean these past days our conversation was tensed, few and far between. I wanted to give him that space he wanted but at the same time I am still holding on.  Maybe this is what they say about relationships  being on life support. 

Are we already broken? I still don't  know. If not then we don't need fixing. (As of late I told him that he has his space and he can do what he wants and that I am not limiting him and so far we haven't talked). Yet the meet up is still in the middle of the spectrum. My best friend and I are planning a European trip this December and it's a long way coming. I don't know how long and how much of this I can still take but I guess patience  and perseverance is the key.  

Talking about the training. It was tough and you can ask about these kind of training from the staff of any Apple flagship store in Asia because they received the same curriculum for the same trainers. Mr Ricky and his team is an esteemed behavioral training team. His story about how he got the apple  job  was aspirational as well as inspirational. It involves meeting and shaking the hands of Steve Jobs in the past. It also made me believe in destiny playing its role in our lives . Because what's meant to happen will happen in the right time. I realized that although the training is intended for the job I know how relatable and applicable  and practical it is for everyday life. 

I have been more conscious about the behavioral side of purchasing when I go to shops or avail services from spas restaurants and the like. 

In life indeed preparation is the key, there is no short cut and there is no cutting corners. Mr Ricky along with his team  with his lectures gives us some quotes from time to time and I have learned to make quotes of my own such as " there is no elevator to success we must take the stairs" . The training made me evaluate our life and made me answer some life's big questions. I have always lived by the principle of "I can wing this" and maybe it has worked in some ways but truly I have learned that indeed we need some preparation. 

I've also learned from Mr. Ricky how you need to have 3 reasons why you need to reach a goal. As I've mentioned he related the story of him

meeting  Apple founder Steve Jobs. His reason for wanting to go to New York was that  he wanted to visit the Statue of Liberty, the Twin Tower  and the Apple Iconic Store. The twin tower was not materialized because  it was after thee 9/11  when he was finally able to get there but he's got 2 other reasons and what struck of luck when he was there, Steve Jobs was also in the store, that's when he got the chance to meet him. 

On my bucket list among others is to go to an Adele  and Beyoncé concert, and hopefully to a Spice girls reunion. (I've  already attended Rihanna and went to an international Music Fest in the country the 7107)

Go to Coachella just for the experience and Tomorrowland. I hope  to do this soon so I don't get too old to look ridiculous in a music festival, live for a few months in New York and finally see the Aurora borealis or the northern lights.  This one is part of the plan when we travel to Europe this December. We are already in the planning stage about where we should go. Finland is on the  list because my best friends relatives live there and Italy of course. Curiously we we're the talking  earlier about starting an online biz so we could finance our travel plans.

Flash #lifewithmetal

https://www.facebook.com/FlashPhilippines/posts/1722181391372208:0

I don't usually win at raffles or contests. When my best friend ask me to join this photo contest with the theme "Life with metal" ( she is the Country marketing manager of Flash Philippines)   I took several photos with the theme and just when I was passing my aunt doing her usual chores of sewing I took her photo and upload as an entry. I got a few likes and there was one comment from another contestant that among the photos I uploaded he likes the  "Sastre" the most ( Sastre being the local term for seamstress or dressmaker) 

https://www.facebook.com/FlashPhilippines/posts/1698678190389195

https://www.facebook.com/FlashPhilippines/posts/1695397104050637

https://www.facebook.com/FlashPhilippines/posts/1689396324650715

 

And then a few weeks back my best friend said that among the shortlisted a winner will be chosen.  She told me to  start campaigning so my photo will have lots of likes in FB and Instagram. I didn't really thought about it anymore. Considering that she's connected with Flash Philippines she made sure that she was not part of those who will be judging or selecting the winners.  And then a few days ago they've made their selection. She said that you know how your photo come close to home  and touching and how emo most of us can be. She came clean with her boss from marketing that the chosen photo was of her best friend. And that my photo got most of the votes and in case they could give the prize to the next winner. That's the thing I admire most about her, her integrity to her job. then yesterday I  was informed I won the latest phone. I believed I deserved it .she was instrumental in making me join however somebody else's judged it...So here  goes my new Flash 2