The (hand painted) bag backstory

 So I got all this old bags I wanted to discard or to sell with my rummage sale but an inspiration hit me. We have been doing the hand painting stuff however, I've already discarded all my paints and stuff since my cousin JP has gone to Dubai for work. I've seen painted bags by the celebrities heart Evangelista and even Kim Kardashian. 

Jp was my business partner when we were doing the fashion biz we tried to put up where we had a fashion show called Citta Bambina. It was a showcase of hand painted clothes we created. He was actually the designer and painter as well of these clothes and I was merely the styling consultant. Another partner would be our other cousin, Arlene who took up a a fashion course in SOFA in Manila. 

Jp being artistic is such a special individual and I say this lovingly - I mean he is very moody and full of attitude but fiercely loyal and opinionated. We grew up together I was older of course so I was a big sister to him. Even as a child  he showed that talented side of him and a leaning for fashion and clothes. He was playing with Cloths my mothers would use for sewing and sashay it like walking on a runway.  At a young age He would draw outrageous designs of women clothes inspired by fiestas and sagala of  our town and even take keen interest on religious images parades during Holy Week taking notes on the gown worn by these images. I remember losing my Barbie dolls only to find out he was the one who took them. And since I am older I just tried to understand his interests and not fight with him.  When I became a teenager and some boys would court me in the house he was very protective of me. He would always hover in the background and be with me. He would even Give  dagger look to those boys who was just trying to steal glances with me. I just find it funny remembering those days. 

Fast  forward  we are still thick as thieves up until the time he went to Dubai for work. He was there as an OFW. I helped him get loans in order for him to pay for his agency and stuff. When he get there he was upset because it wasn't the job he expected or at least what's in his contract. He would call us me and some of our other relatives to tell us to help him come back or go to the agency. I advised him to just stick around and be patient about the job since he is new in that place and that things will get better once he adjusted. He took this negatively for some reason. He didn't call me and even blocked me from he's social media account. I just tried to understand him that he's just probably upset about it. I have so much faith in him, I know how talented he is. I even told him that a lot of  Filipino  designers who are famous started in Dubai. The likes of Michael Cinco, Ezra santos,  Furne One established their careers in the Middle East country. I think with his talent and his love for fashion and with the right attitude he might one day become famous. But he shrugged all my advises and took it out against me. So all the time he was there we never spoken. I would sometimes ask his mom my aunt how he is. And I was glad that he is quite adjusted to his life there. And then a few weeks ago, I learned that he's back in town. He never go out much of the house ( we are neighbors) so we didn't get to see each other. Until one day, a week back I decided to just go and see him. With my aunts and brushes in hand I went to his house and looked for him. He went down and see me when his momCalled him out. It wasn't that awkward we just hugged and told him I needed him to paint my old bags. And just like that, he told me stories about his life there, his working attitude that never changed. His anecdotes about how many times he's been transferred assignment due to his disagreement either with a customer or with his bosses. I wanted to lecture him and remind him about changing his style with dealing with customers especially he is in another country but then I know better. So I just laughed Listened and and sometimes agree and comment to his stories. I guess I may not see it but his changes are known only to himself. When we travel we find a part of ourselves even if we leave behind a lot. He has that assertiveness that is inherent in him but he is also more appreciative of his mom. He is always comparing our culture to that of his host country but he is also more accepting of them and their culture. He said he's going back a month from now and I could see a more independent and fierce person in him. With that I am thankful. 

I am so happy to see the almost finished hand painted bag by JP my cousin...

Certainties and choices

They say the only thing certain in life is death and taxes, due dates and change.  We know this to be true and actually experience them and really know we're adults  .  This month I've seen a few deaths of some people close to me -namely  friends and relatives. Curiously two of which are the husbands of my first cousins whom I know personally. Two decent human beings who have been husbands to my closest cousins and father to my nieces. There's also death among the friends of my parents due to sickness and old age. These deaths made me evaluate my priorities and the importance of spending quality time with my oldies. I may have some disagreements with them from time to time but at the end of the day you will have no one to turn to except family. Another family aside from the biological ones are the ones we chose like our closest friends.  Of course these people are not technically obligated to us and yet show us some degree of concern and care. I think this is the ultimate show of love.  Having said that, I am grateful to my closest girlfriends who are constant in my life. 

At some point relationships  disintegrates and that's a fact of life as well. We can only always hope for the best.  And enjoy each moment we are given. 

So it's been a while since I dated someone it's like I'm having man diet. Juju cleanse of some sort . It's so funny when I posted something in my Twitter  about needing my Juju cleanse and juju cleanse the  diet and healthy food company replied to me to contact them. 

I've always dated good looking men maybe to feed my ego. It is as if I'm with this hottie it would make me desirable by osmosis. So I decided that maybe I'll try to meet people who is outside my pre conceived criteria. There's this guy who's doing an environmental campaign and traveling around the country without money but who's doing an amazing job of campaigning for proper waste disposal and the like. He's good looking but he is not tall and he's kind of crazy but  crazy in a good way. We all have that bonkers side of us and I guess that's what makes us special individuals.  I've met him and offered to pay for his overnight stay in my city to do his projects and meet some people. We became good friends and still talk from time to time. I mean he's not my type but i like what he's doing for the community - he's got my  admiration and respect . So maybe there are people whom you like but you like them as friends. I was heartbroken about the last guy who ghosted and I got this message from someone who read the blog and he said that,  we all like to think that we are the only partners with the person we are currently with but that's never true. True enough, we will meet new people and they will give us new meanings and perspective but a part of that someone in the past stays with us. We just have to take all the good with the bad. I was really feeling self conscious about the last blog entry because I wasn't thinking that people actually read my entries until one guy commented about it. I said sometimes I write for myself without filter as a form of catharsis. I will second guess myself after some time and then throw caution to the wind and say who the fuck cares! It's my story and you can judged me all you want. At the end of the day I'm answerable to myself. So this same person said that he also has some cathartic write up but its unpublished. Maybe I should also do that but on second thought that was the only write up that I felt that I should hide.  On second thought I will probably just write a new entry so that's not the first thing people read. It's as if saying that in order to beat some bad press is to make some good press. So I made some bad decisions that taught me a thing or two and now I'm also willing to explore my options and choices. It's like saying that I will not only swipe right those whose good on paper but I will try to be more open minded. I'm trying to make friends with some people I've met in the past and or maybe  consider being with an older man who's cultured or meet someone  tech dorky  or a geek.  It's like my fashion taste - eclectic but trendy or palate for food -  it can be an acquired taste as they say...