you think u know but u have no idea: March 2015

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Women Who Matters - Us

As we celebrate women's month it is my assessment on how lucky we are to be living in a free country and appreciate the freedom we have as women of today. We have a lot to be thankful to all the women (and the men) who have worked hard to have the kind of gender equality we are experiencing today. There are still a lot of areas in which struggles are real and are still a work in progress in terms of equality - in the workplace, politics, religion, social media (free the nipple anyone?) some patriarchal practices and cultures and a whole other aspects. However, I would like to believe that we have indeed come a long way. My original major was Sociology and I shifted to Psychology because maybe I thought is was way cooler and that it was more popular. However, a lot of my learning was from my Sociology classes . I remember my term paper in one of my Sociology course in college was the Controversial "Women's Liberation Movement". My report was more on the history.Yes, Betty Friedan was mentioned and all these other fore bearers were in that report. I remember, I was very self conscious when I presented because one of my audience that time was a professor who was a very active feminist and a staunch supporter of the movement. She was an active member and an officer of the Gabriela -a feminist organization in the country. I was glad I was able to answer all her questions and presented as objectively as possible. It was a time when I was at a very impressionable stage when I was still deciding about feminism, how much of it is an opposite to chivalry or how much equality are we expecting. Looking back, I am glad that in UP you are exposed to a lot of talks and training on gender sensitivity, feminism, assertiveness and the like. It has helped me become the independent and self sufficient person I am today. Yes , there are times when I still feel like I'm just winging it and maybe all of us has that moment so like I said before there's a part of me that's a confused product of my liberal education and a religious upbringing. Linkhttp://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_feminism Yes on a larger scale, there is still a lot of cases and traditions that cause some abuses to women. Phenomenon such as arrange marriage / forced marriage in many countries, child brides, sexual slavery especially now in Isis occupied territory such as in Iraq and other borders, girls are not allowed to go to school and give priority to boys in some countries. There is a book which talk about a Saudi princess - aptly titled - Princess - it is based on a true story written by Jean Sasson that best describe some of the practices of middle eastern countries -their treatment of women and girls. Even royalties are subjected to practices which shouts inequality. She maybe a western writer and some argues that there might be some bias in the way she would write because as they say it's a culture thing and it comes with the territory. However, the story was based on account of the said Princess who wanted her story known and in that way to give light to their situation and made their plight known to the world. I'm sure this book has long been banned in their country and also to protect her identity and her family's her name was of course withheld, ultimately preventing being ostracized, or worse being killed in the name of honor. This month as we celebrate, let us be aware of the plights of women across the globe. Let us support organizations that promotes equality in whatever way like Amnesty international, locally there are organizations and foundations such as Gabriela. Word Vision – women, and the likes. (http://www.spot.ph/gallery/1030/10-women-rsquo-s-rights-advocates/article/47914#photo-1-1)Let us appreciate all the women we know especially those who are in our midst - our moms, grandma, sisters, and friends. Women we meet everyday, who inspires us to be better, our bosses, our co workers our org mates (in my case a shout out to my Jci Iloilo Ilang Ilang org, an all female organization who have worthy projects through the years have great impacts to the women and the community in general) our neighbors. To all the women, we know as well as those we don't may we find opportunities and joy while doing them, I wish you courage to deal with change, I wish you beauty and that for all the role we take as wives and mothers, sister or any chosen career we have taken I hope that we are able to take precious naps and maintain our well being and happiness! May we find some role models - women we should admire and emulate. They may be in government service, politics, even entertainment. Personally, my women idols would be designer Tory Burch, Senator Miriam Santiago, Amal Clooney, Queen Rania of Jordan, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, ( not entirely for her music or her ability to write based on her love affairs and lack thereof but her civic mindedness, her support to charity and foundations) https://www.looktothestars.org/celebrity/taylor-swift#related-news, Emma Watson and Melinda Gates. Women who are not defined by stereotypes and from time to time defies it and also uses their power, influence and fame to good use and their celebrity status to benefit the greater good. May we find more women like them or be be like them in our lifetime and hopefully transform the world into a better place.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Mid year crisis.... ( just a pun)

Its March, and I havent been travelling which is my goal this year. I have been planning a lot of places to go to but then the rest of the circumstances just did not get the memo. I guess i just have to wait it out and believe that something great is going to come out of this. I still have a lot of other plans like doing my civic duty, heping a community, take care of my business and other personal accomplishment goals and to be positive about it. It is just the first quarter of the year and the fact that I am writing about it is still a good sign.

Its time to cut our losses This has been the thought thats bugging me today.

If kris aquino can write about her unrequitted love, why cant we. ( well, for one shes Kris Aquino) maybe TMI that she is, she also needs her closure. And when blogging about it somehow eased her pain it could probably give us a new perspective - I mean just me. I realize that when I wanted to write about that guy - I don't even know how to call him- it wasn't a relationship, he wasn't even a fling or we dated, it was probably more that we hung out if there would be a label. He sort of the guy I talked to and spent some time with. We talked a lot and then we stop talking. And you know what they say about the "almost lover" situation someone is always left hanging. And then belatedly, I learned that he slept with a common friend, the one who introduced us. I always suspect that there was something but then he denied it not that I have the right asking but I still asked in passing. But this informatin now is no longer relevant to me. I just moved on and it was just a relief. I could regret all the time and effort I invested in that label less whatever and my lack of foresight. I still need to delete photos of him in my phone though Im probaly just waiting for someone new to be able to replace that space there.

On a tangent, we have this annual evaluation with the company I am working and we are rated based on our sales performance and other matrix. Meanwhile there is also a part where you need to write about your own behavioral assesment - for example for your customer service experiences where you able to recieve commendations from your subscribers, or how you execute a certain project, or you inhibit strong leadership skills or a team player. I was the first to submit because I was off duty the day the deadline of the evaluation must be submitted so my worlmate called me how it was done. I told her just write as if you are writing a college paper, and you just have to write it based in experience and what you believed are your strengths as a person and as an employee for the past year. There was a guideline and I just followd those and write from the best of my knowledge my personal accomplishment as a customer service rep for the past year. However, when I thought about it, i realized that there are still some things I forgot to mention about my strenghts because maybe for being subconsciously not wanting to sound self promoting. For instance, I thought about my willingness to take on any role assigned to me, my open mindedness to change. My civic mindedness, volunteerism, my ability to resolve conflicts, my assertiveness and my cool headed way of handling irate customers. Plus I just try to be healthy so as not to get sick and inconvenience my co workers due to scheduling constraints. However, i do file vacation leave each month to travel because that is my respite. As I was writing that note, I tried to remeber the cliche words, that i need not put there - like when writing a resume ie, traits like responsible, hardworking etc., We do feel like we need to downplay our accomplishments and strengthsas not to sound concieted or cocky but sometimes, its also feel good to be validated and know confidently what you are good at.

I am now playing secretary to my brothers who are nominated for the 75 outstanding citizens of our town. Since they are all out I have to coordinate with them, email and send them the docs needed to be filled out and sent back. Can you imagine, all three of them are nominated but none of them are a bit interested. But we dont want to disappoint friends who nominated so i tried to convince them to at least fill out the forms and send back. My eldest brother is a police officer, graduated from PMA, he is and a good man, very proper and never corrupt. My second brother, is a genius who spent most of his time in college, graduated from a top university, (UPDiliman) top 11 of his Chem Engineering board exam, but he's not working as an engineer. I just always thought that he never utilized his full potential. But thats his life and hes my brother, i still love him anyway. And then my youngest brother, is a pilot. I just learned that his exact title is a serch and rescue pilot for the Phil Air Force. He sent back the dox thru email because i bugged him everyday. So maybe, they have accomplished something in life but there is more to it. They should make a difference in the lives of others and the community that they are serving and I am confident they are able to qualify for this requirement.

Summer is here, I am excited because i already have vacations lined up - meet up with my aussie friends in April, the holy week, hopefully we could push through with the Sakura festival in Japan, first week of April and then labor day weekend in Boracay.

How was your first quarter of 2015 so far? Hope you have an exciting one and not the so so like mine... But well change is coming! Xoxo

2014 holy week with my squad