No Surprizes

I jokingly said as I woke up this am - "life surprise me "out loud . You see I'm trying to sometimes practice the talk to the universe kind of thing and just see how it goes not that it has any bearing or anything .. It's 9pm as we speak and Im trying to remember the highlights of today. Was the jokes on me? Well, I got an unusual text from someone that lead to some very curious revelation - but all in all it was a good one. It help me moved on when I'm at a stage of procrastination. Well, so much for ambiguous thoughts. Today I'm almost done with my annual PE of the company, the otherwise dreaded physical exam where you get pricked and what not, not to mention the waiting time to the doctors office. One of my biggest fear now is being stuck in traffic, I live far. Every time I go to work, I say a little prayer, maybe take a long bathroom break before heading out and hope for the best. But today, is a different story because last night I was out with the girls - one of my best girlfriend came out from London and we hang out. It was a fun night just catching up. And I decided to just slept over At Eva's. I wake up early realizing I had all the time in the world and seeing my god son I played for a bit with him it was lovely. I didn't have to endure traffic today - you know, going out into the hi ways is some kinda like preparing for some zombie attack. (Exaggerated of course) My transaction fee from this bank where I was requesting a docs got waived. I was not feeling rushed in going to work, did all my errands, best of all I had a very long talk with the bestfriend. Truly things just fall into their proper place in its own time. I told my 2 closest friends from work about my otherwise dramatic relationship drama and the lack thereof and we just had an LOL moment. I mean I just always find humor in the weight of things. So maybe today, life may not surprised me with grand gestures or awesome surprises. But it still is one fine day! Truly you only have to ask...

Wander lusting (as always)

I don't know but for some curious reason the month of June just tickles my fancy for wander. Two months ago my bestfriend and I were talking about going to London this June. Alas, June came and I still haven't process my visa for UK. I even called some friends who even offered there place for is to stay while we are there. When May was about to end, I figure out I will be having a 4 days off so I thought of spending it with my main squeeze. Alas the certain main squeeze and I had a falling out so I never made it spending time with him. A week passed and I thought of going to Manila instead and spend the day with my bestfriend of whom I needed to talk to because of some issues that needed to be sorted out. But the hustle and bustle of the working life just proceeded and I didn't go where I am supposed to go instead I ended up going to Dumaguete and Siquijor. It's was such an adventure I took on last minute decision. My bestfriend was going to China for work so I didn't proceed to Manila. They say life is strange and wonderful that sometimes it takes us to different directions and change the course of whatever it is we originally plan. I was able to spend time with a friend who I haven't seen in 10 years, I was able to see the beaches of Siquijor Island, visit some towns of Negros and took on some kind of road trips with friends. June is done and we celebrated important occasion in my family - the birthday of Nestor my father on the 29th and his and moms wedding anniv on the 28th. There was also the plan of having our office outing which was cancelled. So it's resked this July. July is just unfolding and already plans are aplenty. Two of my friends who's based in London are vacationing so it's a social calendar. Cebu and Manila are part of the agenda...Boracay for the first week, there's also an invite for Bohol and Dumaguete as well as that long overdue vacay in Davao with my other bestfriend. Oh if only money is not an object I would be in these places, spending time with all my friends equally.

It's a Wrap

It's a wrap- because you can't always win....(because season changes) "At the end of yet another failed relationship"- classic line from the Satc while Carrie was writing a prose for her column. It's very much the current sentiment of someone who makes a blog out of some significant or even mundane relationships experiences- the proverbial almost lover scenario of someone named - me. Well it's not like I just broke up with someone but it's more of I stopped talking to someone. And the separation anxiety kinda feels like that but maybe on a lesser scale. We have Known each other for 3 months, not long enough in standards however we spent six days on a holiday together, texted each other practically everyday save for some missing chapters - 2 or 3 days of not talking once a month or so. It's the making of an LDR which did not appeal to him from the get go. But long enough to know it might never work out. I met him at a friends wedding which is an ideal situation to meet someone as they say. He was the only white guy so he was very conspicuous and when I first saw him I must admit I wanted to stick my tongue down his throat . Maybe at one point I saw unborn children in his eyes pardon that line in a song cliche. Long story short we got introduced, we hang out and there were some situation with my bestfriend not liking him because he was rowdy and he created a very bad impression because he was so drunk and wasted. But I tried to stick around and get to know him a little better. Because I must admit it felt good having someone you're attracted to make out with and I was having a great time while also yearning to connect on a deeper level. You disregard the fact that he smell, that he's into drugs and you're more into him than he's into you. Same guy who make fun of you coz you don't know beach boys from the 90s, and thinks you lack music knowledge because youre a Rihanna fan and that you are common cultured. Plus he talks badly about the girls he's dated. These women are probably crazy - we all have that side of us and I don't know them and there's always that back story to a story . I'm not trying to make him look bad because he's got very redeeming qualities and sadly sometimes, love is blind. He is sweet when he wants to, he took good care of me when I passed out one time when we were in Boracay because I had a little too much to drink I throw up, passed out and all the time hugging him and telling him don't leave me. And he didn't. He opened up things about his personal life like his family, his plans his business. I got to know him - his quirks, his simple joys, and his peeves. The way we could talk openly and ask questions about each other, how he treats other people. How he watches GoT (well everyone watches Game of Thrones, but still) and he could relate to any topic we would talk about, he even watches girls - and comment to each character - you know Hannah, Shosh and Allison. And how we laugh together watching the Big Bang theory. How he ask difficult questions like - what's your 5 year plan? I mean you don't get to meet new people and ask you questions like this because it's like a job interview question at best or a Beauty contest question at worst. In jest I answered that it's a difficult question. I acted coyly because really how am I going to answer that honestly because in that 5 years I want to have a 3 or 4 year old child, I wanted to have a baby soon. Well of course along with having my own business related to clothes and fashion and leaving my job and of course travel and attend all the music festival in the world. if I can afford it and I don't want him judging me for my choices. But maybe it was a "just to make conversation" kind of question. And how he made me open to new realities devoid of judgments. And now I wonder if all these awesome characteristics were just created or perceived by my ever need to full that void mind. Is this all just an idea . Alas the text came far and few and these last 5 days we never texted except I sent him a very long message pouring my heart out that sometimes I worry about him not texting because he is into drugs and that I'm worried something happens to him because he lives alone - it's not like his an addict but more of a social user. Maybe to party and try to experience new thrills but it's not like him not to text back Maybe he met someone and he's too enamored or too busy or she's too jealous. Either way he should have the decency to at least reply, right? Maybe, as I told him he is again having that trips it changes him and part of that change is to forget some people in his life. Now it makes me wonder what will be his story about me - well he could say - I'm trying too hard, or I am trying to cage a very independent person - and he doesn't want long distance relationships - fair enough ( although actually our distance is just an hour trip via plane but still). So quite possibly - were just a summer fling. A summer fling I would have a hard time forgetting because those were amazing time - I was with him watching Cedric Gervais and hearing Lana del Reys - summertime sadness will never be the same again. And all the beach parties we went to and all the Edm music we danced till the morning. Most memorable is watching Aoki for the first time along with the fun experiences we had. We even fight about all those non sense stuff and make up and make out. I told my guy friend about me and this guy not texting and he related a story about his gay friend having a relationship gone sour with this other guy and the other guy reported his gay friend as the stalker coz he didn't stop texting and communicating with his ex. He teased me that I already should stop texting this guy coz he might consider me a stalker. Well we stop all manner of communication - were not even friends in FB or any social network for that matter. I'm glad we don't have that many common friends though so we won't really ran into each other in the near future. On the up side my bestfriend who is so protective of me will be so happy I stop talking to this guy - she said she can't imagine the length I did to sacrifice our friendship for this guy. Bestfriend and I didn't talk for almost a month and even our plans of going to London was not materialized supposedly last month. I'm not blaming the guy though it's really just a thing with my bestfriend having a very close mind to people she doesn't like. So it's true that we will meet many guys but at the end of the day we can still count on our best friends. As of late I didn't get a reply from him. He's a goner, an MIA. But whatever he's going through I hope he's just fine because for whatever it's worth for the most part he was also my friend. They say people come into our lives for a reason. I still don't know what those reasons are except maybe give me a summer worth my while. There is also the question of did you wish you've unmet someone some people? And my answer is no. Meeting someone is like crossing a bridge and I love bridges . It's a metaphor for a lot of things - seeing things differently, connection, burning bridges or building them - it's weird and wonderful . It's the rainy season now but well summer is just beginning somewhere. Love and light!