Certainties and choices

They say the only thing certain in life is death and taxes, due dates and change.  We know this to be true and actually experience them and really know we're adults  .  This month I've seen a few deaths of some people close to me -namely  friends and relatives. Curiously two of which are the husbands of my first cousins whom I know personally. Two decent human beings who have been husbands to my closest cousins and father to my nieces. There's also death among the friends of my parents due to sickness and old age. These deaths made me evaluate my priorities and the importance of spending quality time with my oldies. I may have some disagreements with them from time to time but at the end of the day you will have no one to turn to except family. Another family aside from the biological ones are the ones we chose like our closest friends.  Of course these people are not technically obligated to us and yet show us some degree of concern and care. I think this is the ultimate show of love.  Having said that, I am grateful to my closest girlfriends who are constant in my life. 

At some point relationships  disintegrates and that's a fact of life as well. We can only always hope for the best.  And enjoy each moment we are given. 

So it's been a while since I dated someone it's like I'm having man diet. Juju cleanse of some sort . It's so funny when I posted something in my Twitter  about needing my Juju cleanse and juju cleanse the  diet and healthy food company replied to me to contact them. 

I've always dated good looking men maybe to feed my ego. It is as if I'm with this hottie it would make me desirable by osmosis. So I decided that maybe I'll try to meet people who is outside my pre conceived criteria. There's this guy who's doing an environmental campaign and traveling around the country without money but who's doing an amazing job of campaigning for proper waste disposal and the like. He's good looking but he is not tall and he's kind of crazy but  crazy in a good way. We all have that bonkers side of us and I guess that's what makes us special individuals.  I've met him and offered to pay for his overnight stay in my city to do his projects and meet some people. We became good friends and still talk from time to time. I mean he's not my type but i like what he's doing for the community - he's got my  admiration and respect . So maybe there are people whom you like but you like them as friends. I was heartbroken about the last guy who ghosted and I got this message from someone who read the blog and he said that,  we all like to think that we are the only partners with the person we are currently with but that's never true. True enough, we will meet new people and they will give us new meanings and perspective but a part of that someone in the past stays with us. We just have to take all the good with the bad. I was really feeling self conscious about the last blog entry because I wasn't thinking that people actually read my entries until one guy commented about it. I said sometimes I write for myself without filter as a form of catharsis. I will second guess myself after some time and then throw caution to the wind and say who the fuck cares! It's my story and you can judged me all you want. At the end of the day I'm answerable to myself. So this same person said that he also has some cathartic write up but its unpublished. Maybe I should also do that but on second thought that was the only write up that I felt that I should hide.  On second thought I will probably just write a new entry so that's not the first thing people read. It's as if saying that in order to beat some bad press is to make some good press. So I made some bad decisions that taught me a thing or two and now I'm also willing to explore my options and choices. It's like saying that I will not only swipe right those whose good on paper but I will try to be more open minded. I'm trying to make friends with some people I've met in the past and or maybe  consider being with an older man who's cultured or meet someone  tech dorky  or a geek.  It's like my fashion taste - eclectic but trendy or palate for food -  it can be an acquired taste as they say...