The June Factor
The
long playtime with neighbor’s children and cousins, usually under the heat of
the less scorching sun (back in the days), the vacays spent with the family, (
I remember spending vacation time in Manila with our relatives for less than a
month and me and my younger bro would go
home speaking in Tagalog with Ilongo accent, much to the amusement of our
folks)the beaches and the rain showers as summer rains in May. In teen time - the
summer job, all the sweet valley high and hardy boys novel one can
read and what have yous ( I tried reading one of my older cousins Harold robins
and I just have to consult the dictionary for all that unfamiliar sexy terms
new to my amateur brain) the crushes and
all that childhood memories that will
forever be tattooed in our minds. As we grow up
still the beaches, the long weekends spent in Boracay and all the other
exotic places however, spent mostly with
the friends and sometimes with the significant other, the summer outfit and the
excuse to get fit, the endless fiestas and parties, the summer fling if you may
- and all the hundreds reasons why we love
summers. But like all seasons that ends and transition from summer to the rainy
season of June, it is time to kiss the summer goodbye since here comes an equally important time of the year. It is
freedom month in our country, it is the beginning of the school year for
students, Fathers day falls in June, it
is the end of that summer fling, literally to some and figuratively to others
and of course the June weddings. Whatever
the significance of June depends on each
one.
But
while we are at the subject of freedom- we should never fail to appreciate our
independence in terms of speech,( may I
just say the obvious - fb, twitter, the blogs and the list goes on thrive
because of our freedom of speech, ) religion, fashion, music politics and the
like. Evolved we have become in terms of the way we
think, speak and act- we were taught
gender sensitivity in schools, by the media and the all the other avenues which
are considered game changer as we call it. Women’s right is practiced and
uphold. We can only cringe at the thought of how some male dominated culture
practices women circumcision, arrange
marriage and other very patriarchal practices that reinforces the belief of
women being the second class citizen. So we should be able to appreciate that
kind of freedom in our country, where some Middle east and other Muslim and
most parts of Africa that has not evolved from that mentality and
culture. Our basic human rights and all
fundamental things we take for granted everyday. But with Independence comes an exact dose of
responsibility. We have a responsibility to our country, to the community we belong to and ultimately
on our own minute existence to the planet. We should be able to give back to
show our love for our country by doing little things that may effect some
little changes. At the risk of sounding arrogant, may I just mention that I am in the process of making some things that
I may able to show the love for the country.
Just like the majority of the working class – I am paying my taxes
regularly – the company I’m working do it for us, either way I’m paying. So I
have the bragging rights and the privilege to criticize or grumble whenever I
encounter some sucky government services and also to commend those which are exemplary.
I have 2 scholars. I am sending our helpers
to school, one is in college and 1 is in high School. My parents never paid a single tuition fee
when we were in college (we were STFAP Scholars in UP – based on income bracket
– we were poor but we are rich in love, so to speak) but here I am sending the
helper to college taking up a course in fashion paying in full. A true case of
giving back indeed. I am joining all these
tree planting efforts, feeding and medical missions whenever I have the time
and thru my organization the JCI I am able to support some projects in helping
the community…I know some people do so much more however, this is my way of giving back to my country
however small, it is my hope I am making some contribution.
On a personal
note June is special because its the wedding anniversary of my parents and the
birthday of the first man in my life -my father, Nestor- which falls on the 28th and 29th respectively.
I am actually in the process of making plans for that week. I already booked us
a flight to Manila
to spend time with my brothers who are all based there with some line up
itinerary for my parents. My father, has been dropping hints by mentioning time
and again how he wanted to visit relatives and his friends. Last time he was in
Manila he
visited his ex boss assigned as the chief PSG in Malacanang. Or he was able to
visit his other ex boss who is the chief of PDEA. Or he may be able to play mahjong
the whole day with his sis in laws in the confines of her own home. On this trip however, its going to be a
mini reunion of the family. I plan on bringing them to Tagaytay, my mother
loves to swim and we probably will stay in one of our uncle’s rest house. I
also plan that we go to Clark and on the works of scheduling a Chopper ride with
my brother, who is a Pilot. He is currently a flight instructor for the other
captains of the spankin brand new
Choppers, procured by the PAF from Poland a few months back. And then a meet up with the new apo, (the love
child of the other brother) the newest addition to our family little guy named
Nathaniel. We are also getting some tickets
for the PBA to watch their favorite team- Ginebra in Manila.
Let this be my little tribute first to my Tatay, the June celebrant – he is actually turning
75, old but with the ever young at heart
- he is our unsung hero. The man who has
taught us discipline, humility and perseverance. He is kind hearted and caring,
level headed and passionate at the same time. I witnessed how my father
disciplined my brothers that somehow mold them into the people they have become.
My father has the tendency to be strict and has the military leaning because of
his job probably since although he is a civilian he works for most of his life
( up until he retired) for the ISAFP. I remembered he actually imposed
spanking, but really the boys have grown normally with no childhood issues or
so I believe so I guess it was all tempered in the right purpose and balance.
Two of them are military and police officers, having graduated from PMA and the
other bro is a chemical Engineering from UP. With conviction I can say that
they are upright and have remained true to the ideals of their institution. Luckily
for me since I am the only girl, I was somehow spared from the spanking because
I would say I am Tatay’s favorite. But I witnessed how he believed in education
and the importance of getting it the best, efficiently and economically
possible. We were all sent to State universities with scholarships. He also taught us to be brave and daring
peppered with much caution. It is true what they say that no matter how old you
become, in the eyes of your parents you are still a child. Up until now he is scared to let me
drive because he fears that I have such strong pulse. I was not able to go away
to pursue careers from far places say after graduation since my father was too protective . But he has
softened thru the years, and he would encourage me to do the things that
inspires me. Ironically now, he would tease me, every time I go “ Ingat sila
sayo” which shows how confident he has become of me and my decisions. The
decision to work back home is entirely my own d and no amount of influence from
my parents. I did tried on getting away from my comfort zone by working some
time in manila or Cebu but I have to come back
to them, a decision I don’t regret doing. I have job offers time and again
which will require going away but I just have to take care of my parents time
being. This is the lesson my bestfriend
taught me that we need to spend time with them while we can in any way possible
so we don’t regret anything if the inevitable happens. An advice I took to
heart, seeing her devastated after losing loved ones – a dad and a brother in
the same year. So, I have my job and the
comforts of staying home – best of both worlds so to speak. ….
My father, has
worked as an Ofw in Saudi Arabia
once, back then. I was in kindergarten, and since I was unusually close to him, I would cry when
people teases me that my father has gone off and I remember the term was
“nalunod sa sabaw” I cried a great deal about that, innocent and naïve as I
was. But my father stayed there for only a year he has to cancel his contract
because he missed his family, the family man that he is. My brother, is younger
than I am is also closest to our mother. We both have that jealous fit as to
getting attention from both parents. Tatay, as I observed craves for attention from his children, expecting he have become especially on family occasions like Christmases or
birthdays or fathers day for that matter.. I guess this comes with age and how in my quest to be a good daughter, I
constantly remind the sibs to the point
of nagging my brothers and sometimes I thought I fail to be a good sister . I
still hope the boys wouldn’t mind.
And finally June
is special because of Aida and Nestor
for staying married for 44 years. Six years down the road for that most coveted
golden anniversary. They are a distinctive duo – yin and yang and yet complementary. They both love basketballs, my
mother especially love watching wrestling, boxing and even the UFC - she is a
fight fan. My mother is submissive yet assertive in her own way. She would
serve him but also she would not cave in to argument. They would argue over the
mundane like scrabble, what channel to watch, tv time, or over issues about the
helpers. They are not the lovey dovey type (maybe because they are older) but
still they joke each other and I know
how reliant they are of each other – and Im saying in a good way… My father have the tendency to be easily irate
but my mother is such a cool person – hes got his vices, but now perceived as
just his past times like mahjong and the occasional dringking with the
kumpares.
The good
balance that made them survive the years of being married - my mom the
prayerful, the animated, and the always involved. My father having a great sense of humor, but
serious when the situation calls for it, the easily annoyed, ( but I have that
power to change his mood for some reason)
the disciplinarian but a man of few words. My mother could laugh on top
of her lungs and my father could easily do that to her. I realized, I am now closer to mother in ways
different from my bond with my Tatay. I could bring mother to my shopping,
lunches, spa, swimming and all that girly things we could share. I can tell her
some stories with confidence. Although not the lurid details or the stuff I
could openly tell my girlfriends. I don’t know but we haven’t reach that very
chummy kind of relationship but she is the person I want to talk to when I need
to vent out.. I can talk to Tatay intellectual stuff, opinions on current
events, the books we are reading and a lot more. They fight and argue
about some mundane stuff and how they recover and be dependent of each other...
I sometimes wish that my mother would be more assertive especially in dealing with Tatays
moods in my learned assertive ways, not
the Gabriela –womens- lib way but you know, never backing out from an argument
but I guess I just have to give it to her the amazing ways in which she handled her husband or their issues which is the reason that they were able to reach these number of
years of being together. And somehow, I believe I gained that balance of
levelheadedness, compassion, independence and singularity (or I am just confused" product - for lack of a better
term of a traditional or religious upbringing and a very liberal education- UP,
remember? ) My parents never had the
same views on religion but they have respected each others faith and practices.
They
say that the way you handle relationships is also determined by your relationship with your own father, how he
treated you and that you may have the same expectation from your partner...this
is probably true although of course we should factor in values, culture and
other circumstances.
So, I don’t have that dreamy eye about “ever
afters” anymore or walking down the aisles or marriage in general but I am not jaded about how ones marriage could still work out given the amount of hard
work and having fun at the same time because of Nanay and Tatay.
So
this is just my little tribute to June and to all the wonderful fathers out
there, my 3 sibs included – Manong, Jingle, and Jums. I can’t tell exactly if
you guys are good husbands, maybe you are, shall I say “a work in progress” but I can earnestly say,
you are great fathers. I have amazing nephews and a niece and although I give
credits to their mothers as well I know you’re doing a wonderful job as Dads…
Jing, you still have a little more to prove (and a little more to learn, Nathan
is what, 3 mos old?) but I have such great faith in you!
