They say you are loved (by others )when you are born , you will be loved when you die in between you have to manage. 

I  wrote an obituary for my aunt who passed away last 2 weeks . I tried to recall her life and my relationship I have with her. She was a spinster. (She never got married.) She was as we call someone who's married to her profession. 

 I just realized that I’m  at an age where there's a lot of saying goodbye to relatives and family who are at their twilight years. auntie Letty was a character she was, strict and sometimes snooty but she was bubbly among her friends...She was so fond of us to a point where she wanted us to always join dances, choirs or even beauty pageant at school. Her profession was a teacher she was known as a terror and a strict one and her passion is in the Arts- especially dancing  she handles Mostly Physical Education as well as Araling Panlipunan among others . Auntie Letty as she is fondly called by her Nieces and nephews she is also Lola Letty to her Apos. She was passionate of her craft, thoughtful and very independent. She is also very loyal to her friends. even in her old age she would travel and go to their homes to try to visit them. she is also a loving Lola who would call her apos and always give them some goodies  especially when she's asking them some errands like buying her meds or snacks . Last 3 weeks she felt ill and she bid her farewell last September 6, 2016.  She was 87.  I believe, she has lived  a full life,  spent around her family, relatives and friends. Died peacefully in her sleep.

Written last 2 years ago...

 Now you may ask why I am writing about something as morbid as death. I guess it’s me being pragmatic, you know the thought that nothing is certain in life except death. Sometimes me and my friends would talk about how we wanted to die. Even my bestfriend already drafted her last will, telling me that she’s leaving me her bags and purses  and her jewelries ( were  both only girls so we don’t have sisters) I remember her also saying that she doesn’t want lots of flowers in her burial rather she wanted balloons and no sad music . So maybe I’ll prepare lots of Drake soundtrack (she has a thing for Drake)  Lately she told me in passing  how she felt restless and casually mentions , maybe I’m dying. And I said you’re  just burn out with your work. And you needed to unwind, so I said why don’t we go to India. I was expecting a protest from her like she would say, rape cases are so high and India and it might not be safe for women tourist. But to my surprise she said let’s go after my trip to France. She’s going in September for the Ryder Cup. I just mentioned India probably because of my remnant thoughts having watched, Eat pray love, from Netflix. Anyways, I’d always say that I’d still want to die beautiful (not necessarily like in that movie where the gay character was make up transformed into his fave celebrities) I mean I don’t want to suffer from an illness. I’d want that I die peacefully in my sleep and hopefully surrounded by the people important to me and them not hoping I’d die sooner because I’ve let them suffer taking care of me while being sick. If it’s not too much to ask.. and hopefully we leave the world better than when we found it.. (heard this from a line spoken by Khaleesi in game of thrones while she was freeing the slaves. On that note, I’m still thingking about doing my community service which I have been neglecting lately. Motivation stat! 

The essentials

So I have this thought about what we notice first about the image of people we meet, I mean with the outer image- ie the clostbes and Accesories they are wearing. For me peosonally, when looking at a guy id first look at the shoes he’s wearing and then the watch. For women it also the watch, the shoes and then the bag. That is why purses have become an investment these days like watches they can also be heirloom we can pass on to our daughters or daughter in law if you may someday. That is probably why even  Drake collects Hermès bags. As for the clothes, personally I don’t invest in them because of how volatile fashion is in terms of clothes, like yuu can always recycle. In our current instagram obsessed world now, we can’t rewear clothes but I always do, just like Kate Middleton. Maybe pair it with another item or another accessory. And I also sell or give away clothes as a form of recycling. Maybe that’s my way of being green and a form Of contribution to the environment. My recent travel to the uk made me realize to always support local. Bench the local brand for example is an expensive brand in the uk. But I have been a supporter of  products especially those made by friends or people needing support for their products. I have great respect for artisans and those whose still trying to establish their business or enterprise. I have workmates who are make up artists and event specialist on the side and I always try to support them by availing their services. Anywho, I have a cart full of items in netaporter but no check out so far. I am just a joy reserver. But I always try to look hard for the stuff I really like. Like the bamboo bag I ordered from China or recently I have to look for a personal shopper to get me one of those LV archlight sneaks. Sometimes a girl can dream or a girl can shop... 

Cold shoulder shirt DIY

If you are like me who likes to create clothes for yourself this torn shirt (which could be chic if properly paired with a nice jeans or skirt) I saw some it girls wearing torn shirts like tha kardashian, Rita Ora and even Jessica Biel using the trend. So i made my own version of the cold shoulder shirt. If you have an oversized shirt the better. Use an ex boyfriend shirt if you want (you know out of spite, just kidding, but truly it could work haha! Simply cut the side sleeve and voila! Just pair it with a not so shabby jeans otherwise you run the risk of looking like a homeless person begging on the street, although nothing wrong with that and if you’re going for that goal. But for me if you make one item of your outfit your main focus make it that. So wear it with a nice shoes for example. 
So no distressed jean for a distressed shirt. 

No space for uglies

I  said I’m not getting the iPhone X, I  lied!  I might just spam you with animojis and what not (fair warning)  .  And this time I got it not because I’ve lost the other one just like in the previous years .  

Anyone who’s close to me knows the backstory about the the time I lost an  iPhone in Laboracay. (May 1 in Boracay)  Let’s just say I didn’t feel much pain because I was having a great time. I’ve written about Losing some stuff and getting a replacement  losing a Wallet, losing a cellphone which very much mirrors losing a loved one and that is in getting a replacement we should always level up. (I don’t need to elaborate because I might give the wrong impression) but just in case you chose someone ugly faced  for whatever reason make sure they have other redeeming qualities otherwise running into the ex might not be the experience youd look forward happening. Peace! 

Because I’ve been sharing my story lots of other people opened up to me about their fair share of love and loss... I’d say my story pales in comparison. Different  strokes  for different folks as they say but the pain is probably the same. We also have different ways of coping and moving on but in the end it doesn’t even matter. ( this is like a line of a song, sorry so cliche) haha what matters is that we come out of it alive. (And kicking)  hopefully better and wiser and still hopeful and not jaded. Because there are actually 7 billion people in the world so you can restart and make another beautiful love story. Or if not, you can just love somebody really fabulous, you. Because it always start with you..

As I was going home I noticed a fury of people from the mall as well as unusually full jeepney passing by. I thought this is just like when we have some festival in the city where everyone’s out except there is no festival.  I was waiting for a jeepney in this area of the building under construction where the recent accident happened. A debris fall on this guy and actually  broke his leg. (Saw it in the news) so what are the odds... Anyways, if it’s your time it’s your time.. that’s what I always thought. (Off topic) 

Then I  thought maybe it’s just  because of graduations and moving up and recognitions from schools where families are out attending and celebrating after. 

I knew this since I live in front I f an elementary school and for the past 2 Days I would hear graduation and recognition speeches form their graduation speakers. My brothers has been tasked to be graduation speaker for this school before and I thought I will never be one someday neither does my other brother Jingle. Although will never know.. He was a consistent honor student ( all 3 of them actually) on  his grade school  and high school days. He’s always the genius type but I think that he is not reaching his full potential. My impression is that he just gets contented with the status quo and he’s not ambitious enough he could very well become a or a ceo of a company or he could run his own business. Sometime I thought about the guy in breaking bad  like he could make a meth  factory so he could earn lots of money coz he’s dying anyway. ( I mean Walter white) my brother is a chemical engineer and I’m not saying I want him to become the guy from Breaking Bad, but at least  Walter White the character was doing what he knows he’s good at. (He is a chemistry teacher if I remember right) 

And my brother he needs to have the passion and the drive . But they say success and happiness is always relative and who am I to judge his choices. I just love him that’s why I worry a lot for him as well as for his kid. (He’s not married but with a love child) 

So going back to graduation. Every parent in Facebook have been posting moving up and photos of kids with awards and medals.  The girls are all pretty with make up. I mean I don’t see that on my time. (Haha and maybe no fb yet) 

So graduation is an end and yet a beginning. But there are things in life that shouldn’t end, like friendships,  families , kindness and love.  They say that experiences and relationships are two of the most important things in life, the rest are simply noise.. So we should treasure each moment we have with our loved ones, even those which are passing by in our life. 

While contemplating this I texted my friend who’s hosting me  in Boracay  that I wanted to visit and just my luck they were in iloilo  and driving back and I was invited to go  a day after So i found myself on the best beach before it closes on the 26th. (26th is a fairly important date for me huh) Sometimes we get answers by asking. Truly we only need to ask.. (there’s a biblical verse for this: “ask and it will be given, seek and you shall find). What is the millennial alternative to this? Maybe “blessed are the curious for they shall have adventure? Anyways, i hope this still make sense.  Have a blessed week tweethearts

Xo-G 

Ps: this was writtem over a week ago.. the mood now would be : everyone’s in Coachella , im practicing gratefulness and counting everydays luttle wins, I’ve watched  “shape of water and learn how to sign language -egg and fuck You” haha, my travel is in 10’days.. looking forward 

(Disclaimer : someone said I have a mental disorder because of the stuff I write on my blog. So maybe next time I’ll write about it and not to make it light but probably go back and try to remember what ever I learned in college, my major is psychology. . 

 This is my eldest brother who was always tasked to do graduation speeches. He is now the Police Attache for the Philippine embassy in China. He’s with President Duterte in this pic.. 

Random midnight thoughts

I’ve been thingking about fairness and equality and how different these two concepts together. (This is not about feminism though) and off tangent from what I’ve been writing about lately ( you know crappy love story) sorry about that. I’ve been really negative but I’m beggining to be better again. (All the DUA Lipa soundtrack may rest for the moment) although lots of interesting things happened this past days which I have to keep for myself. I am beggining to feel like an overshare (TMI) 

and I googled - Equality” is defined as the quality of being the same in quantity, value, or status. It is the state of having a balanced social, economic, and political standing among individuals in a society despite differences in race, religion, sex, social and economic status, and culture. 

 

Fairness, on the other hand, is defined as the quality of having an unbiased disposition. It is the characteristic of being just to everyone, of treating them without discrimination or partiality. It is the absence of prejudice. The word “fairness” comes from the Old English word “faeger” which means “beauty” and the Old English adjective “nes” that form a word which means “evenhandedness.”

(Credits to google) 

In short, fair is not equal and equal is not fair.. 

And truly life is relative. Sometimes we keep on comparing based on what we think is fair. And when it comes to Love , wed ask ourselves how much love we should give? Then we ask how much love  she or he needs... what we may think is sufficient may be insufficient for the other person or what may be too little for you maybe too much for another. 

And realizing this makes us more compassionate and understanding...  I wish this coming days are better for everyone... goodnight tweet hearts... xoxo

I have always lived by the principle of "I can wing this" and maybe it has worked in some ways but truly I have learned that indeed we need some preparation.