Sam Smithing August

In my room, current mood - "inspired", (whatever that means - for lack of a better word maybe) musical scoring is by Sam Smith , the whole In the Lonely hour album, well for the past months its my sound pipe every waking moment I am in my room. Its like my soundtract for The most part of July and practically for the whole month of August.- on line of the song - leave your lover, leave him for me always makes me smile... Speaking of August I just felt like the month passed in a blur. Was it because I had a great time or is it because i just went thru the motions. Well, this month did have some highlights like the time I spent in Manila with my family and relatives and time I spent with my bestfriend. The issue weve finally resolved about some guy I have no intention of talking about since i guess he already got his proper airtime ( more than be actually deserved) but maybe My Sam smith choice of music is subconsciously related to him because I learned that this album is actually about unrequited love.. But im not dwelling with that right now since love is supposed to be free. Because this month Ive finally felt like ive truly moved on. I used to think of this line from the movie Brokeback Mountain, when I was reading reviews of some great movies that i want to watch one of these days ( the other one would be - Fight Club) I still haven't watch these movies and this line " I wish I could quit you" and I did. Maybe some people come into our lives and theyre just passing by with no intention of actually staying and thats still cool. I never saved his number on the pretense of actually having to memorize it but well maybe consciously or subconsciously I have the feeling that hes just passing. Again too much for that. On a tangent, practicing gratefulness is great but sometimes we tend to forget because of the mundaneness of the daily grind or sometimes we tend to even focus on the negative stuff that happens that usually is a result of our own doings. For the past 3 days, I have been walking in the morning with my dog. And then it occurred to me how amazing it is that I could have this time, and then I remember that blog I was following where she has this 3 things Thursday where you should think of the 3 things you are grateful about. so since it was a Friday I thought of inventing my own 5 things Friday. Right that time I actually thought of so many things its actually a lot more than 5. My dog, the breakfast i share with my parents where we can have small talks, my mom who can still sew clothes, the Catholic church of our town - where I could enter anytime and have a little prayer time . I am not Catholic but i do enter chapels and churches and thankful for these establishment that they may offer solace to anyone needing them. You know sometimes we just need a silent place and be on our own and hear our own thoughts or oftentimes to connect with our own spirituality or talk to someone we deemed as a higher being or someone we thought we could talk to as a friend. This dinner with my friend, the clothes I want to share with my friend who is leaving for abroad for a job, and the list goes on. Speaking of friendships, I have the privilege of reconnecting with my very good old friend who is a lawyer and someone I always have very sensible conversations with. He is actually a colleague on a business trip in town. And since I am one of his closest friends I would always have lunch or dinner and drinks with him. We would talk about work and business on a minimum but we would always talk about our personal lives. I always have that crazy, funny and most often out of the box perspective and learnings from him. How he said that whatever experiences or challenges we may go thru lets just be thankful we have the opportunity of going thru them because these will make us better. I have opened up to him a few years back about my cancelled wedding and he did offered good advices I would still remember up to now. He even wrote a blog about it Me and some friends wee in tears after reading. It was a long time ago, I have very vague recollection of that experience . But I will always remember what this lawyer friend once said, and this was the time when we were in Boracay attending one of those JCI NatCon parties (maybe a little alcohol infused convo) that for compelling reasons married people should be separated. I wasn't married but once I have planned on getting there. And now it is my time to ask questions and listen to him since he is now going thru some life's transitions in his marriage. I think its one of my inherent strength or weakness if you may, because i can make people open up to me. Probably because i ask a lot of questions, or maybe my interest is genuine. Im not at liberty to discuss of course but I was a friend to him, not necessarily offering an advice but an ear to listen. And then I thought how nowadays it is a usual happening for people to separate, like they say some people even celebrate it because as they say no good marriage ever ended in divorce. I still have to attend or be invited to one of these parties though. This August i realized also how I spent too much on unnecessary things, like money for some stuff I dont need, Hello on line shopping! I was actually proud of myself for not spending much for IRL shopping in Manila but the lure of the e commerce proved too much too handle. But well sometimes, a girl needs her retail therapy. I am actually proud that i have decluttered a little bit when i sell some of my stuff on my garage sale to help my ailing cousin even just a little, it may not be substantial as to cover for her chemo or something but at least it could go some ways. how i have maybe invested emotions on things which are not really worth investing emotions on, like some friendships or some people. At the end of the day, I have the few best ones that are constant. Still at the end of the day, all these misgivings are still no matter how cliche it may sound are learning experiences. Theres always a take away as they say....so September is a looked forward to month I will be in my second home in Boracay tommeet some friends from Australia or since its the beginning of something the - ber months, the bday of my bestfriend in October, my moms bday in November and my own birthday in December. love and light!