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It's a wrap- because you can't always win....(because season changes)
"At the end of yet another failed relationship"- classic line from the Satc while Carrie was writing a prose for her column. It's very much the current sentiment of someone who makes a blog out of some significant or even mundane relationships experiences- the proverbial almost lover scenario of someone named - me. Well it's not like I just broke
up with someone but it's more of I stopped talking to someone. And the separation anxiety kinda feels like that but maybe on a lesser scale. We have Known each other for 3 months, not long enough in standards however we spent six days on a holiday together, texted each other practically everyday save for some missing chapters - 2 or 3 days of not talking once a month or so. It's the making of an LDR which did not appeal to him from the get go. But long enough to know it might never work out. I met him at a friends wedding which is an ideal situation to meet someone as they say. He was the only white guy so he was very conspicuous and when I first saw him I must admit I wanted to stick my tongue down his throat . Maybe at one point I saw unborn children in his eyes pardon that line in a song cliche.
Long story short we got introduced, we hang out and there were some situation with my bestfriend not liking him because he was rowdy and he created a very bad impression because he was so drunk and wasted. But I tried to stick around and get to know him a little better. Because I must admit it felt good having someone you're attracted to make out with and I was having a great time while also yearning to connect on a deeper level. You disregard the fact that he smell, that he's into drugs and you're more into him than he's into you. Same guy who make fun of you coz you don't know beach boys from the 90s, and thinks you lack music knowledge because youre a Rihanna fan and that you are common cultured. Plus he talks badly about the girls he's dated. These women are probably crazy - we all have that side of us and I don't know them and there's always that back story to a story . I'm not trying to make him look bad because he's got very redeeming qualities and sadly sometimes, love is blind. He is sweet when he wants to, he took good care of me when I passed out one time when we were in Boracay because I had a little too much to drink I throw up, passed out and all the time hugging him and telling him don't leave me. And he didn't. He opened up things about his personal life like his family, his plans his business. I got to know him - his quirks, his simple joys, and his peeves. The way we could talk openly and ask questions about each other, how he treats other people. How he watches GoT (well everyone watches Game of Thrones, but still) and he could relate to any topic we would talk about, he even watches girls - and comment to each character - you know Hannah, Shosh and Allison. And how we laugh together watching the Big Bang theory. How he ask difficult questions like - what's your 5 year plan? I mean you don't get to meet new people and ask you questions like this because it's like a job interview question at best or a Beauty contest question at worst. In jest I answered that it's a difficult question. I acted coyly because really how am I going to answer that honestly because in that 5 years I want to have a 3 or 4 year old child, I wanted to have a baby soon. Well of course along with having my own business related to clothes and fashion and leaving my job and of course travel and attend all the music festival in the world. if I can afford it and I don't want him judging me for my choices. But maybe it was a "just to make conversation" kind of question. And how he made me open to new realities devoid of judgments. And now I wonder if all these awesome characteristics were just created or perceived by my ever need to full that void mind. Is this all just an idea .
Alas the text came far and few and these last 5 days we never texted except I sent him a very long message pouring my heart out that sometimes I worry about him not texting because he is into drugs and that I'm worried something happens to him because he lives alone - it's not like his an addict but more of a social user. Maybe to party and try to experience new thrills but it's not like him not to text back
Maybe he met someone and he's too enamored or too busy or she's too jealous. Either way he should have the decency to at least reply, right?
Maybe, as I told him he is again having that trips it changes him and part of that change is to forget some people in his life. Now it makes me wonder what will be his story about me - well he could say - I'm trying too hard, or I am trying to cage a very independent person - and he doesn't want long distance relationships - fair enough ( although actually our distance is just an hour trip via plane but still).
So quite possibly - were just a summer fling. A summer fling I would have a hard time forgetting because those were amazing time - I was with him watching Cedric Gervais and hearing Lana del Reys - summertime sadness will never be the same again. And all the beach parties we went to and all the Edm music we danced till the morning. Most memorable is watching Aoki for the first time along with the fun experiences we had. We even fight about all those non sense stuff and make up and make out.
I told my guy friend about me and this guy not texting and he related a story about his gay friend having a relationship gone sour with this other guy and the other guy reported his gay friend as the stalker coz he didn't stop texting and communicating with his ex. He teased me that I already should stop texting this guy coz he might consider me a stalker. Well we stop all manner of communication - were not even friends in FB or any social network for that matter. I'm glad we don't have that many common friends though so we won't really ran into each other in the near future. On the up side my bestfriend who is so protective of me will be so happy I stop talking to this guy - she said she can't imagine the length I did to sacrifice our friendship for this guy. Bestfriend and I didn't talk for almost a month and even our plans of going to London was not materialized supposedly last month.
I'm not blaming the guy though it's really just a thing with my bestfriend having a very close mind to people she doesn't like. So it's true that we will meet many guys but at the end of the day we can still count on our best friends.
As of late I didn't get a reply from him. He's a goner, an MIA. But whatever he's going through I hope he's just fine because for whatever it's worth for the most part he was also my friend. They say people come into our lives for a reason. I still don't know what those reasons are except maybe give me a summer worth my while. There is also the question of did you wish you've unmet someone some people? And my answer is no. Meeting someone is like crossing a bridge and I love bridges . It's a metaphor for a lot of things - seeing things differently, connection, burning bridges or building them - it's weird and wonderful .
It's the rainy season now but well summer is just beginning somewhere.
Love and light!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
It's a Wrap
It's a wrap- because you can't always win....(because season changes)
"At the end of yet another failed relationship"- classic line from the Satc while Carrie was writing a prose for her column. It's very much the current sentiment of someone who makes a blog out of some significant or even mundane relationships experiences- the proverbial almost lover scenario of someone named - me. Well it's not like I just broke
up with someone but it's more of I stopped talking to someone. And the separation anxiety kinda feels like that but maybe on a lesser scale. We have Known each other for 3 months, not long enough in standards however we spent six days on a holiday together, texted each other practically everyday save for some missing chapters - 2 or 3 days of not talking once a month or so. It's the making of an LDR which did not appeal to him from the get go. But long enough to know it might never work out. I met him at a friends wedding which is an ideal situation to meet someone as they say. He was the only white guy so he was very conspicuous and when I first saw him I must admit I wanted to stick my tongue down his throat . Maybe at one point I saw unborn children in his eyes pardon that line in a song cliche.
Long story short we got introduced, we hang out and there were some situation with my bestfriend not liking him because he was rowdy and he created a very bad impression because he was so drunk and wasted. But I tried to stick around and get to know him a little better. Because I must admit it felt good having someone you're attracted to make out with and I was having a great time while also yearning to connect on a deeper level. You disregard the fact that he smell, that he's into drugs and you're more into him than he's into you. Same guy who make fun of you coz you don't know beach boys from the 90s, and thinks you lack music knowledge because youre a Rihanna fan and that you are common cultured. Plus he talks badly about the girls he's dated. These women are probably crazy - we all have that side of us and I don't know them and there's always that back story to a story . I'm not trying to make him look bad because he's got very redeeming qualities and sadly sometimes, love is blind. He is sweet when he wants to, he took good care of me when I passed out one time when we were in Boracay because I had a little too much to drink I throw up, passed out and all the time hugging him and telling him don't leave me. And he didn't. He opened up things about his personal life like his family, his plans his business. I got to know him - his quirks, his simple joys, and his peeves. The way we could talk openly and ask questions about each other, how he treats other people. How he watches GoT (well everyone watches Game of Thrones, but still) and he could relate to any topic we would talk about, he even watches girls - and comment to each character - you know Hannah, Shosh and Allison. And how we laugh together watching the Big Bang theory. How he ask difficult questions like - what's your 5 year plan? I mean you don't get to meet new people and ask you questions like this because it's like a job interview question at best or a Beauty contest question at worst. In jest I answered that it's a difficult question. I acted coyly because really how am I going to answer that honestly because in that 5 years I want to have a 3 or 4 year old child, I wanted to have a baby soon. Well of course along with having my own business related to clothes and fashion and leaving my job and of course travel and attend all the music festival in the world. if I can afford it and I don't want him judging me for my choices. But maybe it was a "just to make conversation" kind of question. And how he made me open to new realities devoid of judgments. And now I wonder if all these awesome characteristics were just created or perceived by my ever need to full that void mind. Is this all just an idea .
Alas the text came far and few and these last 5 days we never texted except I sent him a very long message pouring my heart out that sometimes I worry about him not texting because he is into drugs and that I'm worried something happens to him because he lives alone - it's not like his an addict but more of a social user. Maybe to party and try to experience new thrills but it's not like him not to text back
Maybe he met someone and he's too enamored or too busy or she's too jealous. Either way he should have the decency to at least reply, right?
Maybe, as I told him he is again having that trips it changes him and part of that change is to forget some people in his life. Now it makes me wonder what will be his story about me - well he could say - I'm trying too hard, or I am trying to cage a very independent person - and he doesn't want long distance relationships - fair enough ( although actually our distance is just an hour trip via plane but still).
So quite possibly - were just a summer fling. A summer fling I would have a hard time forgetting because those were amazing time - I was with him watching Cedric Gervais and hearing Lana del Reys - summertime sadness will never be the same again. And all the beach parties we went to and all the Edm music we danced till the morning. Most memorable is watching Aoki for the first time along with the fun experiences we had. We even fight about all those non sense stuff and make up and make out.
I told my guy friend about me and this guy not texting and he related a story about his gay friend having a relationship gone sour with this other guy and the other guy reported his gay friend as the stalker coz he didn't stop texting and communicating with his ex. He teased me that I already should stop texting this guy coz he might consider me a stalker. Well we stop all manner of communication - were not even friends in FB or any social network for that matter. I'm glad we don't have that many common friends though so we won't really ran into each other in the near future. On the up side my bestfriend who is so protective of me will be so happy I stop talking to this guy - she said she can't imagine the length I did to sacrifice our friendship for this guy. Bestfriend and I didn't talk for almost a month and even our plans of going to London was not materialized supposedly last month.
I'm not blaming the guy though it's really just a thing with my bestfriend having a very close mind to people she doesn't like. So it's true that we will meet many guys but at the end of the day we can still count on our best friends.
As of late I didn't get a reply from him. He's a goner, an MIA. But whatever he's going through I hope he's just fine because for whatever it's worth for the most part he was also my friend. They say people come into our lives for a reason. I still don't know what those reasons are except maybe give me a summer worth my while. There is also the question of did you wish you've unmet someone some people? And my answer is no. Meeting someone is like crossing a bridge and I love bridges . It's a metaphor for a lot of things - seeing things differently, connection, burning bridges or building them - it's weird and wonderful .
It's the rainy season now but well summer is just beginning somewhere.
Love and light!
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